it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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