I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
