WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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