Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
