I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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