i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
