Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Me too!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
