Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
