and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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