I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
