sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
