we have pet lesbian snakes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Mom said you looked used
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
