S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
