your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
