I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
