Are we in a gay sports bar?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
