Define "chronic" masturbator.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
