What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
