But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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