I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize