i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
