i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
