i drank out of a bidet.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
