Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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