There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize