thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
