waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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