areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
