I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
