when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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