He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Enjoy the penises
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize