i just had sex bonerless
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
