At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
