why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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