i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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