Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
