I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
whose parrot is this?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
