You can't motorboat a personality
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
