I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
