Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
