so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
