She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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