if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wanna go halves on a baby?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
