Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize