you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
