Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
