i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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