You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sorry my hands just texted you
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
