You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
