I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I look excited, but its just a facade.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize