How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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