He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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