How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
PANTIES FOUND
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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