Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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