Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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